The Paradox of Failure: Why Mastery Is Built on Repeated Mistakes
Failure can feel discouraging, but what if it’s actually shaping something far more important? In this article, I'll be talking about the paradox of failure & why it's necessary to fail.
We're often told success is a simple recipe: talent, hard work, and a straight shot to the top. You surely noticed how LinkedIn is full of perfect resumes & promotions, and social media is full of stories about people climbing straight to the top? These typical stories of success we see each day ignore a paradox that every true master knows intimately: failure is not the opposite of success—it’s a necessary ingredient.
Take a moment to think about someone you consider a true expert—someone who’s mastered their craft, whether it's a coach, an athlete, or a manager you admire at work. What you see is the result of countless missteps, errors, and wrong turns.
Fear of failure
When you first begin something, failure is terrifying. The fear of failure can paralyze you, holding you back from even trying or from pushing past your comfort zone. How many times have you stopped yourself from applying for that job you wanted because “you’re not ready yet”? How many times you want to start that blog and write about your love of cooking or travel but you feared judgment and that you lack what it takes? Or your own startup idea that you’re afraid won’t work?
The reality is that failure is how we learn, grow, and refine. In fact, without it, growth is stunted. The beginner tends to play it safe, focusing on not making mistakes, often at the cost of progress. But the master? They understand that failure is not to be feared. It's a signal to adjust, learn, and try again—each attempt bringing them closer to mastery.
The Paradox
The crux of the paradox is this: failure and mastery are intertwined. To truly become great at something, you must first fail repeatedly, allowing each failure to inform and refine your next attempt. This isn’t to say that failure is comfortable—it’s not. But the act of overcoming it is where growth happens. It's why resilience becomes one of the defining qualities of a true master. Overcoming setbacks isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s proof of endurance. I talked about this in a previous article about what can we do to enhance our adaptability and resilience.
Why is this counterintuitive? Society often teaches us that success equals smooth progress, a flawless trajectory where only the deserving rise to the top. However, this polished idea of success hides the ugly truth: masters fail far more than anyone else. They are the ones who have faced rejection, struggle, and setbacks over and over, learning each time how to rise and adjust. They know that success isn’t a straight line—it’s a jagged, winding road that demands constant iteration.
Understanding and embracing the paradox of failure can be a powerful tool for cognitive restructuring, allowing you to rewire your brain to view setbacks as stepping stones to success.
Growth Mindset
Psychologically, this paradox is tied to the growth mindset—a concept pioneered by Carol Dweck. Those who cultivate a growth mindset view failure as part of the learning process, whereas those with a fixed mindset see failure as evidence of inability. In her research, Dweck has shown that those who embrace challenges and fail repeatedly end up achieving far more than those who avoid them. This is especially critical in coaching and mentorship, where real progress happens not in avoiding failure but in using it as fuel for improvement.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-Thomas Edison
What does all this mean for us as individuals? It means we need to change our relationship with failure. It’s not something that happens to us when we fall short; it’s an essential part of the process. To create, to grow, and to succeed, we must be willing to fail—again and again.
Are you reading this article on an iPhone? Well - Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, the company he co-founded, only to return years later and lead it to unprecedented success. He viewed failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, ultimately revolutionizing the tech industry. What’s stopping you?
So, the next time you encounter a setback, ask yourself: How can I learn from this? How can I use this failure to get one step closer to where I want to be? In the end, it’s not the failure that matters—it’s what you do with it. That’s what transforms you from a beginner to a master.
My Point
As a coach and mentor, I’ve seen countless individuals transform not by avoiding mistakes, but by making them and moving forward with a deeper understanding of their journey. And that’s a lesson I hope to continue sharing with those willing to embrace the power of failure.
About me
Hi - I’m Benonica. With 16 years experience as a CX Leader, People Manager & Coach - I created this Substack to empower people to transform their career & relationship with work, colleagues & themselves. I write about coaching, leadership, customer experience, startups, and thinking about AI & how it will change our world. If you need a coach - happy to have a conversation.