How to STOP quitting early: a Coach’s Guide to habits
A research-backed habit playbook to stop early quitting: start broad then focus, target the biggest constraint, track one metric, use preset stop rules.
We love the rush of new beginnings. New project. New fitness routine. New skill course. For a week or two, it’s fireworks. Then the novelty fades, progress slows, and what felt effortless now asks for… effort. That’s where most people quit.
We often call this a “sprinter vs. marathoner” problem. But in real life, the winners aren’t one or the other. They know when to sprint and when to settle into a marathon pace. In this article, I talk about how to make that switch on purpose - without burning out or sticking with the wrong thing for too long.
Coach’s view: what I see people get wrong
In coaching sessions I see the same patterns repeat, including in my own work. Most people are not failing at talent. They are failing at design.
They sprint on novelty, then hit the first plateau and read it as a verdict on ability.
They chase motivation instead of installing a simple system with two if–then practice slots.
They set outcome goals and skip process goals, so there is no repeatable doing.
They try to improve everything at once and never drill a single bottleneck.
They measure time or feelings, not reps or error rates.
They quit too early or cling too long because they never set kill criteria before starting.
They work alone and lose steam, instead of adding a tiny dose of accountability.
They expect passion to feel good all the time, and label normal effort as a sign to stop.
Why the dip happens (and why it’s not a you problem)
Most skills improve fast at first, then level off. That shape has a name: the power law of practice - big early gains, then smaller, harder-won improvements. When you hit that plateau, you’re usually not “bad.” You’re learning like everyone else. The playbook changes: less dabbling, more targeted practice and feedback.
Reframe: “It’s not working” → “I’ve reached the normal plateau. Time to change the way I practice.”
Another trap: when things get harder, we assume something is broken. Often, that effort is a desirable difficulty - it feels harder now but pays off in retention and transfer later.
Don’t pick a side - switch modes deliberately
Instead of “sprinters vs. marathoners,” think explore vs. exploit:
Explore early: try approaches, collect signals, learn cheaply.
Exploit once you’ve found a promising path: go deeper with focused, feedback-rich reps.
The skill is switching modes on purpose, not living in one forever.
Two traps (and how to coach yourself out of them)
Trap 1: The Instant Expert
We compare our day one to someone else’s year ten. When we are not brilliant immediately, we bail.
Coach yourself: expect the plateau, measure behaviors instead of vibes, and pair reps with tight feedback.
Trap 2: The Loss of Fun
After the honeymoon, effort rises and the buzz drops. We label it “not for me.”
Coach yourself: design productive difficulty that stretches but does not overwhelm, strip away bad friction like unclear instructions or tool chaos, and keep feedback frequent.
Process beats willpower: design your doing
“Be consistent” is fine. Design consistency is better.
If–then plans. Example: “If it is 07:00 on weekdays, then I practice for 25 minutes.” These plans boost follow through.
Give habits time. Real-world habit formation often takes weeks to months. Track streaks and do not overreact to a missed day.
Fix one bottleneck per week. Choose a single constraint and drill it.
Make progress visible. Use milestones and simple progress bars. We push harder when the finish line feels closer.
Make finishing feel good. Add a quick reflection, a small reward, or a check-in with an accountability partner.
My favourite habits, decision making, and continuous improvement author, James Clear, explains it best this short video (highly recommend you read his book, Atomic Habits):
Mini-system to copy:
Process goal (behavior) + if-then slot + feedback source + weekly bottleneck + end-of-week check-in.
“Hold ’em” vs “Fold ’em” - make it a policy, not a panic
Perseverance is great… until it isn’t. Two biases to watch:
Sunk-cost fallacy: “I’ve already invested so much…” Past costs are gone; only future value matters.
Escalation of commitment: doubling down to justify earlier choices.
Solution: set kill criteria up front.
Before you start, write: “If, after 8 weeks at 3 hrs/week + expert feedback, my [metric] hasn’t improved by X%, I will pivot to [next-best option].” Add a tripwire (e.g., specific date or signal) so the decision isn’t made in a hot state.
Hold ’em when struggle is productive (clear plan, tight feedback, gradual trend up).
Fold ’em when your pre-set criteria say so, or when the path no longer matches your values/strategy.
Motivation that lasts
People stick with hard things when environments support three needs: autonomy (I choose), competence (I can), relatedness (I’m not alone). (Deci & Ryan)
Pair that with Expectancy-Value: we persist when we expect success × value outweighs perceived costs. So: shrink tasks, increase feedback, connect the work to a goal you care about, and do it with people.
A sane take on grit and passion
“Grit” (sticking with long-term goals) correlates with success, but its unique boost over personality is modest. The smarter move: build systems where the next right action is easy and visible.
Also, aim for harmonious passion - freely chosen and integrated with your life - rather than obsessive passion that crowds everything else out.
Put it all together: the switcher’s checklist
Before you begin
One process goal (behavior) + one performance goal (measurable output).
If-then plan: two specific slots/week.
Feedback source & cadence: coach/peer/tool, weekly.
Kill criteria + next-best alternative written down.
Weekly
Pick one bottleneck and drill it.
Track one metric (words drafted, reps, error rate, time-to-X).
Ask: “Is this a desirable difficulty, or do I need to fix the design?”
Monthly
Compare trend vs. kill criteria.
If trending up → exploit (double down).
If flat/down → explore (change method), or fold and re-deploy effort.
My Point
I see most people measure feelings, when they should measure behaviors. Next time, track one visible metric, get weekly feedback, and celebrate finishing the reps rather than feeling ready.
You don’t have to be a sprinter or a marathoner. Explore widely, then exploit deliberately. Expect the plateau and design for it. Systems beat slogans. Hold when the struggle is productive. Fold when your own rules tell you to.
Further reading references:
Learning curves & desirable difficulties: Newell, A. & Rosenbloom, P.S. (1981); Bjork, R.A. & Bjork, E.L. (2011).
Goal setting & feedback: Locke, E.A. & Latham, G.P. (2002).
Implementation intentions: Gollwitzer, P.M. & Sheeran, P. (2006).
Habit formation: Lally, P. et al. (2010); Wood, W. & Rünger, D. (2016).
Motivation: Deci, E.L. & Ryan, R.M. (2000); Wigfield, A. & Eccles, J.S. (2000).
Explore/Exploit: March, J.G. (1991).
Sunk cost & escalation: Arkes, H.R. & Blumer, C. (1985); Staw, B.M. (1976).
Quitting well: Duke, A. (2022) Quit.
Grit (nuance): Duckworth, A.L. et al. (2007); Credé, M. et al. (2017).
Passion: Vallerand, R.J. et al. (2003).
About me
I’m a leadership development consultant, certified coach, and digital transformation strategist with 18 years of experience leading people, customer operations, L&D and organizational change. I specialize in guiding leaders through complex transformations in the age of AI, with expertise in change management, leadership development, and workplace culture. As the author of Atomic Leadership on Substack, I share actionable insights that empower leaders, teams, and organizations to thrive in fast-changing environments. Follow me on LinkedIn or Connect.